How to collect RSVPs for an Indian wedding without chasing anyone

To get RSVPs you can actually use, ask each family to reply once, per person and per function, with a meal choice, through a single link rather than in chat. "We'll come" in a WhatsApp message tells you almost nothing: not how many, not which functions, not who eats Jain food. A reply that captures those three things is one you never have to follow up on.

Why chat replies don't add up

When replies arrive as messages, they arrive in every format at once. "Yes!" from one cousin, "we'll try for the reception" from an uncle, a voice note from a grandmother, a thumbs-up on the family group. Someone then has to read all of it and turn it into a number, and that someone is usually a parent doing it at midnight a week before the caterer's deadline.

The real problem is that a family is not a single yes or no. Four people might come to the wedding, two to the sangeet, and one of them only to the reception. A reply that doesn't separate people and functions can't be counted, however carefully it's read.

What a usable reply captures

• Each person by name, not "family of four". Names are what the seating plan, the room list and the door check-in all need.
• Each function separately: attending, not attending, or not answered yet. The mehendi and the reception have different caterers' numbers.
• A meal choice per person, for example Jain, vegetarian or non-vegetarian, and a plus-one's real name where one is allowed.

Make replying take one minute

The easier the reply, the more replies you get. Nobody should need to install an app, create an account or remember a password. The reply belongs on the invitation itself, one tap from the message it arrived in, and it should remember what the family already said so they can change it later instead of sending a second message.

Chasing the ones who haven't answered

Some families will not reply however easy it is. A polite reminder two to three weeks before the first function, sent only to the families who haven't answered, usually closes most of the gap. The key is knowing exactly who hasn't replied, which is only possible if replies are recorded against a guest list rather than scattered across chats.

ShaadiMode collects replies free for up to 50 families, and without a limit on Plus. See how replies work