Indian wedding glossary

Roka is the small family ceremony where the bride's and groom's families formally agree to the match, bless the couple and exchange sweets, gifts and shagun.

Sagai is the Hindi word for the engagement ceremony, where the bride and groom exchange rings in front of both families and the wedding is formally announced.

Mangni is the word many families in Rajasthan, Haryana, UP, Bihar and many Muslim households use for the engagement, when the match is announced and the bride receives a ring and gifts.

Tilak is the ceremony where the bride's family, usually her father and brothers, visit the groom's home, put a tilak of kumkum on his forehead and welcome him into their family.

Chunni chadana is the Punjabi custom where the groom's mother and female relatives drape a red chunni over the bride's head to welcome her into their family.

Shagun is an auspicious gift, most often cash in an envelope ending in one, such as ₹101, ₹501 or ₹1,100, given at the roka, engagement, wedding and other family occasions.

Kundli milan is horoscope matching, where a priest or astrologer compares the bride's and groom's birth charts before the families agree to a match.

A muhurat is the auspicious date and time chosen by a priest for the wedding, and often for each key ritual, based on the Hindu calendar and the couple's horoscopes.

Lagan is the fixed auspicious time of the wedding, and in many families the lagan patrika is the formal letter the bride's family sends to the groom's family to announce that date and time.

Sakharpuda is the Maharashtrian engagement ceremony, named after the packet of sugar (sakhar puda) that the groom's family gives the bride along with a saree and jewellery.

Nichayathartham is the Tamil engagement ceremony, where the two families formally agree to the wedding and the date is read out in front of relatives.

Gol dhana is the Gujarati engagement ceremony, named after the jaggery (gol) and coriander seeds (dhana) that are shared with guests after the match is sealed.

Paka dekha is the Bengali ceremony where both families formally confirm the match and fix the wedding date, usually in the presence of a priest.

Ashirbad is the Bengali blessing ceremony where elders of the groom's family bless the bride, and elders of the bride's family bless the groom, with paddy and durba grass.

Kurmai is the Sikh engagement ceremony, usually held at a gurdwara or at the groom's home with an ardas, where the bride's family blesses the groom and gives him gifts.

A save the date is an early message that tells guests the couple's names, the wedding date and the city, so they can plan travel and leave before the full invitation arrives.

A shadi card is the wedding invitation, and its card matter is the wording: the invocation, the hosts, the couple and their parents, each function with date, time and venue, and the family's welcome.

Kankotri is the Gujarati word for the wedding invitation card, named after kanku (kumkum), the red powder families mark it with for luck.

Kelvan is the custom in many Maharashtrian families where relatives and family friends invite the bride or groom and their family for a festive meal in the weeks before the wedding.

Haath peele karna is a Hindi phrase that means to get a daughter married, from the haldi that turns the bride's hands yellow before her wedding.

A sehra is the veil of flowers, pearls or beads tied over the groom's turban so that it hangs across his face, put on at the sehra bandi before he leaves for the wedding.

A safa is the tied turban worn by the groom and often by the men of both families at a wedding, especially in Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra and Punjab.

Ghudchadi is the ritual where the groom mounts a decorated mare (ghodi) before the baraat, with his sisters and sisters-in-law performing small customs around him.

The baraat is the groom's wedding procession from his place to the wedding venue, with family and friends dancing to a band or dhol ahead of him.

A toran is the decorated hanging over the door of the wedding home or venue, and in many Rajasthani families the groom ceremonially touches it before he enters.

Milni is the Punjabi welcome where relatives with the same relation on both sides, such as the two fathers and the two maternal uncles, meet, embrace and exchange garlands and gifts when the baraat arrives.

Ponkhvu is the Gujarati welcome of the groom, where the bride's mother greets him at the entrance with an aarti and playfully tries to catch his nose.

Kashi yatra is a playful ritual in many Tamil and Telugu weddings where the groom pretends to leave for Kashi to become an ascetic, and the bride's father persuades him to stay and marry his daughter.

Kanya aagaman is the bride's entry into the wedding, when she is brought to the varmala stage or the mandap, often under a canopy of flowers held by her brothers and cousins.

Varmala, or jaimala, is the exchange of flower garlands between the bride and groom, which marks their acceptance of each other in front of the guests.

Mala badal is the Bengali exchange of garlands between the bride and groom, done three times, right after the bride reveals her face at shubho drishti.

Maalai maatral is the Tamil garland exchange, where the bride and groom exchange flower garlands three times, often while their relatives lift them up to tease each other.

Oonjal is the Tamil ritual where the bride and groom sit together on a decorated swing while married women sing songs, offer them milk and banana, and in many families circle coloured rice balls around them to ward off evil.

Antarpat is the silk cloth held between the bride and groom in a Marathi wedding while the mangalashtak verses are sung, lowered at the exact muhurat so they see each other.

Mangalashtak are the eight auspicious verses sung by the priest and relatives in a Marathi wedding just before the muhurat, while the antarpat is held between the couple.

Shubho drishti is the Bengali ritual of the auspicious first look, when the bride, carried on a wooden seat, lowers the betel leaves covering her face and she and the groom look at each other.

Saat paak is the Bengali ritual where the bride, seated on a low wooden seat (pidi) lifted by her brothers, is carried around the groom seven times with her face hidden behind betel leaves.

A mandap is the canopy, usually on four pillars, under which a Hindu wedding's main rites, such as kanyadaan and the pheras around the sacred fire, are performed.

A kalash is a metal or clay pot filled with water, topped with mango leaves and a coconut, placed at a wedding puja or in the mandap as a symbol of abundance and blessing.

A havan is the sacred fire lit in the centre of the mandap; in a Hindu wedding Agni, the fire, is the divine witness to the vows, and the couple make offerings into it.

Kanyadaan is the ritual where the bride's parents place her hand in the groom's hand, asking him to care for her as an equal partner, while the priest chants mantras.

Hasta milap is the joining of the bride's and groom's hands during the wedding rites; panigrahan, its Sanskrit name, means taking the hand.

Gathbandhan is the tying of a knot between the end of the bride's chunni or saree and the groom's scarf, joining them for the pheras.

Kangana is the sacred thread with small charms tied on the wrists of the bride and groom before the wedding, which they later untie for each other in a playful game.

Pheras are the rounds the bride and groom take around the sacred fire, tied together, with a vow made in each round; in most North Indian weddings there are seven.

Saptapadi means seven steps: the bride and groom take seven steps together near the sacred fire, each step with a promise, and in many traditions this is the rite that completes the marriage.

Lajja homam is the ritual where the bride's brother pours puffed rice into her hands and she offers it into the sacred fire with the groom, praying for her husband's long life and the family's prosperity.

Sindoor daan is the moment in many Hindu weddings when the groom applies sindoor, red vermilion powder, in the parting of the bride's hair for the first time.

A mangalsutra is the sacred necklace of black beads and gold that the groom ties around the bride's neck during the wedding, which many married women wear every day.

In South Indian weddings the thali, or mangalyam, is the sacred pendant on a yellow thread or gold chain that the groom ties around the bride's neck at the muhurtham.

Jeelakarra bellam is the Telugu wedding ritual where the bride and groom place a paste of cumin seeds and jaggery on each other's heads at the exact muhurtham.

Talambralu is the joyful Telugu ritual where the bride and groom shower each other with rice mixed with turmeric, and sometimes pearls, over their heads.

Anand karaj, meaning blissful union, is the Sikh wedding ceremony, held in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib, in which the couple walk around it four times as the four laavan are sung.

Laavan are the four hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib that are sung during the anand karaj while the couple walk around the Guru Granth Sahib once for each hymn.

Palla is the moment in a Sikh anand karaj when the bride's father places one end of the groom's scarf (the palla) in the bride's hand, joining the couple before the laavan.

Nikah is the Islamic marriage contract, in which the bride and groom each give their consent in front of witnesses and a qazi, the mehr is agreed, and the nikahnama is signed.

Mehr is the gift of money or property that the groom gives the bride as part of the nikah, agreed between the families and written in the nikahnama; it belongs to the bride alone.

Joota chupai is the playful custom where the bride's sisters and cousins hide the groom's shoes during the wedding and ask for money or gifts to return them.

Nalangu is a set of playful games in Tamil weddings, played by the bride and groom with relatives watching, to break the ice after the formal rites.

Vivah is the Hindi and Sanskrit word for marriage, and vivah sanskar is the Hindu wedding seen as one of the life-cycle rites, the sanskaras.

A sarbala is the young boy, usually the groom's nephew or younger cousin, who accompanies the groom through the wedding day, dressed like a small copy of him.

Neg is the customary gift or money given to relatives for their role in a wedding ritual, such as the groom's sisters at the sehra bandi or the bride's sisters at joota chupai.