Indian wedding glossary · Before the wedding
What is Roka?
Also written: Rokka, रोका
Roka is the small family ceremony where the bride's and groom's families formally agree to the match, bless the couple and exchange sweets, gifts and shagun.
- Who keeps it
- Punjabi, Delhi, Haryanvi and many North Indian Hindu and Sikh families. Other communities have their own version of the same moment.
- When
- Weeks or months before the wedding, usually the first function of all, before the sagai.
About Roka
What should you know about Roka?
The word comes from rokna, to stop: once the roka is done, both families stop looking for other matches. It is usually a short, close-family affair at one family's home or a small banquet, with a puja, tilak for the groom, a chunni or gifts for the bride, and a lot of mithai.
In many families the roka is the first time the two families sit down together as relatives. Some fold the engagement into the same day; others keep the roka small and hold a bigger sagai later.
In the order of functions
Where does Roka come in an Indian wedding?
Weeks or months before the wedding, usually the first function of all, before the sagai.
- Before the weddingFixing the match, the engagement, the date and the card.
- The functionsPujas, haldi, mehndi, sangeet and the family days before the wedding.
- Wedding day ritualsFrom the baraat to the pheras, nikah and anand karaj.
- After the weddingVidaai, the new home, the reception and the first visits.
Planning your own days? The free wedding function order planner puts your functions in a sensible order with dates.
On the card
What do families write on the invitation for Roka?
With the blessings of our elders, we invite you to the roka of Riya and Arjun on Sunday, 12 January, at 12 noon, at our home.
Related words
Words that go with Roka
- Sagai
Sagai is the Hindi word for the engagement ceremony, where the bride and groom exchange rings in front of both families and the wedding is formally announced.
- Shagun
Shagun is an auspicious gift, most often cash in an envelope ending in one, such as ₹101, ₹501 or ₹1,100, given at the roka, engagement, wedding and other family occasions.
- Chunni chadana
Chunni chadana is the Punjabi custom where the groom's mother and female relatives drape a red chunni over the bride's head to welcome her into their family.
- Tilak
Tilak is the ceremony where the bride's family, usually her father and brothers, visit the groom's home, put a tilak of kumkum on his forehead and welcome him into their family.
- Kundli milan
Kundli milan is horoscope matching, where a priest or astrologer compares the bride's and groom's birth charts before the families agree to a match.
Questions
Roka, answered
What is Roka?
Roka is the small family ceremony where the bride's and groom's families formally agree to the match, bless the couple and exchange sweets, gifts and shagun.
Which families celebrate Roka?
Punjabi, Delhi, Haryanvi and many North Indian Hindu and Sikh families. Other communities have their own version of the same moment.
When does Roka happen in the order of wedding functions?
Weeks or months before the wedding, usually the first function of all, before the sagai.
What do families write on the invitation for Roka?
With the blessings of our elders, we invite you to the roka of Riya and Arjun on Sunday, 12 January, at 12 noon, at our home.
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