Indian wedding glossary · Before the wedding
What is Kurmai?
Also written: Sikh engagement
Kurmai is the Sikh engagement ceremony, usually held at a gurdwara or at the groom's home with an ardas, where the bride's family blesses the groom and gives him gifts.
- Who keeps it
- Sikh families, in Punjab and across the diaspora.
- When
- Weeks or months before the anand karaj.
About Kurmai
What should you know about Kurmai?
In many families the bride's relatives give the groom a kara, sweets and dry fruit, and feed him a dried date (chhuara). Kirtan and an ardas are recited, and the families share langar or a meal.
The groom's family then visits the bride with a chunni, jewellery and clothes, often called the chunni ceremony. Many families today also exchange rings.
In the order of functions
Where does Kurmai come in an Indian wedding?
Weeks or months before the anand karaj.
- Before the weddingFixing the match, the engagement, the date and the card.
- The functionsPujas, haldi, mehndi, sangeet and the family days before the wedding.
- Wedding day ritualsFrom the baraat to the pheras, nikah and anand karaj.
- After the weddingVidaai, the new home, the reception and the first visits.
Planning your own days? The free wedding function order planner puts your functions in a sensible order with dates.
On the card
What do families write on the invitation for Kurmai?
With Waheguru's blessings, we invite you to the kurmai of Arjun and Riya at Gurdwara Bangla Sahib, Sunday, 12 January, 10 am.
Related words
Words that go with Kurmai
- Anand karaj
Anand karaj, meaning blissful union, is the Sikh wedding ceremony, held in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib, in which the couple walk around it four times as the four laavan are sung.
- Chunni chadana
Chunni chadana is the Punjabi custom where the groom's mother and female relatives drape a red chunni over the bride's head to welcome her into their family.
- Roka
Roka is the small family ceremony where the bride's and groom's families formally agree to the match, bless the couple and exchange sweets, gifts and shagun.
- Milni
Milni is the Punjabi welcome where relatives with the same relation on both sides, such as the two fathers and the two maternal uncles, meet, embrace and exchange garlands and gifts when the baraat arrives.
- Laavan
Laavan are the four hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib that are sung during the anand karaj while the couple walk around the Guru Granth Sahib once for each hymn.
Questions
Kurmai, answered
What is Kurmai?
Kurmai is the Sikh engagement ceremony, usually held at a gurdwara or at the groom's home with an ardas, where the bride's family blesses the groom and gives him gifts.
Which families celebrate Kurmai?
Sikh families, in Punjab and across the diaspora.
When does Kurmai happen in the order of wedding functions?
Weeks or months before the anand karaj.
What do families write on the invitation for Kurmai?
With Waheguru's blessings, we invite you to the kurmai of Arjun and Riya at Gurdwara Bangla Sahib, Sunday, 12 January, 10 am.
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